Blog 8

Joe Fernandes

ENG 3017*01

Dr. Chandler

Draft Essay # 1

October 5, 2009

Growing up I always remembered having a ton of friends, I would always follow my older brother around whether he liked it or not, and along with that came his friends as well. At first I was seen as young pest that they begrudgingly accepted because of who's brother I was, but soon after we genuinely became friends. There was 9 of us total, and I was the youngest of all by at least two years. I was never in the same classes, rarely saw them at school, and didn't have the same mutual experiences and memories because of that. Even so I never felt left out because we all spent so much time together after school, talking on the phone, and especially in the summer.

I always enjoyed the fact that my friends were older, it made me different from the other kids my age and made me feel more advanced than the kids my age. It wasn't that I didn't get along with the kids my age or in my class, I just wasn't interested in a lot of what the kids my ages were in to. I think it had to do with the fact that as early as I can remember I was greatly influenced by my brother who is four years older so I was always interested in things that the older crowd enjoyed. I also never saw my classmates outside of class like I did with my other friends, my brothers friends were over our house all the time, and we went over every ones house constantly as well.

Growing was a great experience, I had a large group of friends that always kept me active. We played baseball, football, Basketball, went camping, fishing, built forts, and anything else you can imagine. But with a large group of friends like I had you have to expect that things won't always be the same, there's bound to be some friends that move away or friends you just grow apart from, that's part of growing up. But within a few years that large group of friends that I had grown up with dwindled all they way down to just two, myself and my brother.

Within five years from fourth grade to my freshman year in high school all seven good friends that I had since I was four were gone. One got in trouble and was sent off to military school, another was kicked out of his house and never heard from again, two brothers moved away, and the other three my brother and I grew a part from because we were only friends with them through the two brothers that had moved away. My brother and I stayed friends with the two brothers that moved away for several years but the distance became to much. Its to much work at a young age to try and keep a friendship with friends who live so far away and live their own lives with new friends. We tried to make to keep in contact but the communication between two sides decreased year after year till there was no contact at all.

I was always relieved that I had an older brother because I always knew that no matter what he was always going to be my best friend, my most trusted friend, and a friend who's bond will never be broken. Still I missed the entire group, in the case of friends more is definitely better. The great thing about friends is that you can always make more, but you can never replace friends that you have had since child hood. Child hood friends in a lot of cases spend more time with you than your own family members, they know your history and secrets, and in a way help shape the person you will become because they have an influence on you at a small and impressionable age.

Since than my brother has made new friends, and I have made new friends. I'm not sure how my brother feels about his friends but while I like my new friends I'm not sure I can call them anything other than acquaintances. Sure we have a good time when we are around but would I be able to count on him if ever needed? Could I ever trust him with information I need to be kept secret? Does he even really know me all that well? I'm not sure you can call some one your friend unless you are completely comfortable around them and I certainly am not. I find myself holding back my opinions on certain subjects so as not to offend or hurt my new friends. I find my self struggling to make conversation which I never had to do with my old friends because we had so much in common that we could go on for hours. But than again maybe my lack of close friends is my fault, my brother has made quite a few close friends since we grown apart from our old friends and I'm sure my old friends have moved on as well. Why I'm I still clinging to old friends that I haven't seen in several years when others have easily moved on. I was the youngest of the group and I'm sure it has a lot to do with it, I never had to make friends because I always remembered having them. Its possible that I'm just not that out going, I'm more reserved and quite with people I'm not familiar with. I've always hated change as it never really worked out for me, but I really think its time to embrace it.