Sunday, October 25, 2009

Essay 2

I can remember as a kid hating Christmas,this seems odd to say and probably even more odd to hear. Everyone loves Christmas, especially kids. But for me I always dreaded Christmas day because it was one of the few times a year I had to see my fathers side of the family. Every Christmas Eve my mother, father, brother, and I would spend Christmas at our house with my moms side of the family which I loved. I'm extremely close to my mothers side of the family because I see them very often, they have always been apart of my life since I was a small child. They were at my baseball games, football games, graduation, and every major event in my life. Even if it wasn't a major holiday or an important event they would still stop by the house just to talk to the family like friends do. We are an extremely close family that always helped each other, worked together, celebrated together, looked out for each other, and took care of each other.


As for the other side of the family, I could never stand my fathers side of the family. I never told this to anyone except my brother cause it sounds like a mean thing to say, and it probably is even though its the truth. For some reason in my family you are automatically expected to love everyone else in the family even if you barely ever seen them or know anything about them. I just don't think that way, yes they are family but I probably never interacted with them more than 50 times my entire life. How can I realistically love anyone I know so little about and spend such few time with. It really cheapens the word love in my opinion which should be reserved for something you have true feelings about.


Its not that I hate my fathers side of the family, its just that I always felt my family was out of the loop and treated as second class citizens by them. Never knew why that was but we weren't apart of their group, I had a suspicion it had to do do with my mom but that's most likely because she would act phony and kiss up to them like other people do. Its not that I've been tormented by this and let it affect my life, in fact I never think about except a few days before I know I have to actually go see them. But those few days a year I do have to see them are horrible, and Christmas day was the ground zero.


Christmas was the one day of the year I knew my family was definitely going to see that side of the family. All the other times it was for a wedding, communion, baptism, or some other event like that, although sometimes none of those events would happen in a given year. But Christmas was every year and there was no doubt about it I had to see them for Christmas. So every year while other kids were counting down the days to Christmas, I was the opposite always wondering how Christmas always comes up so fast. Now it isn't all bad, as like I said Christmas Eve with my moms side is always great with the presents, the food, good cheer, and everything else that comes with the holidays. But its hard to enjoy when you know in just a few hours you have to go somewhere you hate, to celebrate a holiday you should love with people you don't really care for.


Normally the Christmas day celebration with my fathers side of the family starts off horribly with the entire family having to get up from our are warm beds to get dressed and head out to my uncles house in Massachusetts. This ride in the cold and infuriating traffic takes us several hours till we finally get to my uncles house were the entire family has already began to eat dinner. Apparently they can't wait a few minutes for people who made the long trip by car, they have to eat at exactly twelve. Dinner is no better as the entire family reminisce and talks about subjects that my family isn't involved in, making my family at the end of the table quietly talk to our selves. Then its time to open presents, with the living room full gifts my brother and I have to wait and watch all the other kids receive multiple gifts and envelops of money until with finally get our one crummy gift and envelop that usually only ten bucks and no even in cash but a check. After a few more hours of having to listen to my relatives go on and on about themselves and pat themselves on the back its finally time for my family to leave, and we do it with out much attention or being wished a happy holiday by any of them. Then my family gets back into the car and we take another long, cold, cramped ride back to our home. But its a sweet ride home because I know I have 364 days till I know I have to see them again.


Now I'm not sure if they are trying to act rudely on purpose, but I know you can definitely do a better job making someone feel at home and being a good host. But this is a big reason I can't really say that I care for my fathers side of the family, I just don't know them at all and to me they are either rude or oblivious to the fact that they are rude, neither one a good quality. I have no idea how they got this way cause my dad turned out fine, but I do know that I don't care that they are my family, I just don't care for them. It was something I used to feel guilty about when ever I would felt that way but not anymore, that was a feeling that my mom and dad pressed upon me, not my own. I mean how can I pretend to care for that side of the family when I don't even know most of their last names, phone numbers, or where they even live. I have no problem saying that I was closer and cared more about my friends than I did about my family because I'm loyal and care more about character than blood.


Now some may say that maybe I should try to reach out, make an effort to learn about them, and that I'm not being fair. I'm I being judgmental? Should I offer and olive branch? Of course not! This treatment has been going on since I can remember, truthfully they aren't the type of people I want to associate with anyway. If they weren't my family I would never spend a minute with these people, they are just unlikable. Its the type of relationship that I know once I get older and have my own family that I will never see them again so whats the point in in thinking about them and this any more. Some may thing I may be missing out on being close to half the family but I'm really not, my moms side of the family is more than enough.

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