Essay 1 Daft 2

Joe Fernandes

ENG 3017*01

Dr. Chandler

Draft 2 Essay # 1

October 5, 2009

Growing up I always remembered having a ton of friends, not my own but my brothers. I would always follow my older brother around whether he liked it or not, and along with that came his friends as well. At first I was seen as a young pest that they begrudgingly accepted because of who's brother I was, but soon after we genuinely became friends. There was 9 of us total, and I was the youngest of all by at least two years. The group consisted of a kid named Joe who my brother had met in elementary school, as well as his younger brother Angelo. Through Joe and Angelo my brother and I became friends with a three kids that lived near the two brothers. Joe and Angelo also became friends with two kids that lived near me and my brother that we were friends with, including my cousin.

The group of nine was than complete when I was in fourth grade, everyone in the group had their own role. My brother and Joe were the older ones and thus the leaders that everyone would follow. Angelo was Joe's little brother and a chubby kid who was addicted to video games. Sam was the kid who lived near Joe and Angelo, he was the kid with overprotective parents who wouldn't let him play anywhere outside his block. Rick also lived near Joe and Angelo, he was the kid we let into the group because he had a pool. Vince lived across the street from Joe and Angelo, he was the kid we allowed in the group because his connections and ability in getting us fireworks and free passes to amusement parks. Mike was my brother and I's cousin that was allowed in the group because of that. Finally their was Tyler who lived by my brother and me and joined the group cause much like me he would follow the group around till they accepted him.

Since I was the youngest of the group I was never in the same classes as my other friends, rarely saw them at school, and didn't have the same mutual experiences and memories from school because of that. Even so I never felt left out because we all spent so much time together after school, talking on the phone, playing sports, and especially in the summer. We had so many great times that it didn't matter to me that others had some great times with out me. And other than not being around them in school because I was a few years younger, age never really played a part in the friendship ever. I did everything they did.

Some people like my parents always found it odd that all my friends were much older than myself, but I always enjoyed the fact that my friends were older, it made me different from the other kids my age. It made me feel more advanced than the kids my age who were really pretty boring compared to my older friends. It wasn't that I didn't get along with the kids my age or in my class, I just wasn't interested in a lot of what the kids my ages were in to. They were into power rangers while I was more interested in sports and physical activities. What kids my age were interested in actually bored me. I think it had to do with the fact that as early as I can remember I was greatly influenced by my brother who is four years older so I was always interested in things that the older crowd enjoyed. I also never saw my classmates outside of class like I did with my other friends, my brothers friends were over our house all the time, and we went over every ones house constantly as well.

Growing was a great experience, I had a large group of friends that always kept me active. We played baseball, football, Basketball, went camping, fishing, built forts, and anything else you can imagine. But with a large group of friends like I had you have to expect that things won't always be the same, there's bound to be some friends that move away or friends you just grow apart from, that's part of growing up. We were such great friends, and so close that I thought we would all be life long friends. But within a few years that large group of friends that I had grown up with dwindled all they way down to just Three. My cousin, myself and my brother.

Within five years from fourth grade to my freshman year in high school six good friends that I had since I was four were gone forever. Rick got in trouble and was sent off to military school, never to be heard from again. Tyler was kicked out of his house and never heard from again as well, he had began hanging with a wrong crowd and got kicked out by his parents. The two brothers Joe and Angelo moved away to a town in North Jersey 2 hours away. And the other friends my brother and I grew up with still lived in town, except we grew a part from them because we were only friends with them through the two brothers that had moved away. So The only ones left in town that I was friends with was my brother and cousin, which is great but all your friends can't just be family. Thats not normal.

My brother and I tried to stay friends with the two brothers that moved away for several years but the distance became to much. Its to much work at a young age for a kid with out car and living his own life to try and keep a friendship with friends who live so far away and live their own lives with new friends. Through the years we erratically got together and had a lot of fun, we played sports, went dirt biking, going to movies, and everything else we did when we were younger. It felt just like it did when we were kids, but that feeling three or four times a year wasn't enough to keep the friendship in tact. We tried to make to keep in contact but the communication between two sides decreased year after year till there was no contact at all.

I was always relieved that I had an older brother because I always knew that no matter what he was always going to be my best friend, my most trusted friend, and a friend who's bond will never be broken. Still I missed the entire group, in the case of friends more is definitely better. The great thing about friends is that you can always make more, but you can never replace friends that you have had since child hood. Child hood friends in a lot of cases spend more time with you than your own family members, they know your history and secrets, and in a way help shape the person you will become because they have an influence on you at a small and impressionable age.

Since than my brother has made new friends, and I have made new friends. I'm not sure how my brother feels about his friends but while I like my new friends I'm not sure I can call them anything other than acquaintances. Sure we have a good time when we are around but would I be able to count on him if ever needed? Could I ever trust him with information I need to be kept secret? Does he even really know me all that well? I'm not sure you can call some one your friend unless you are completely comfortable around them and I certainly am not. I find myself holding back my opinions on certain subjects so as not to offend or hurt my new friends. I find my self struggling to make conversation which I never had to do with my old friends because we had so much in common that we could go on for hours. But than again maybe my lack of close friends is my fault, my brother has made quite a few close friends since we grown apart from our old friends and I'm sure my old friends have moved on as well. Why I'm I still clinging to old friends that I haven't seen in several years when others have easily moved on. I was the youngest of the group and I'm sure it has a lot to do with it, I never had to make friends because I always remembered having them. Its possible that I'm just not that out going, I'm more reserved and quite with people I'm not familiar with. I've always hated change as it never really worked out for me, but I really think its time to embrace it. I 'm not happy with my current situation so why would I want to stay the same? Obviously change would not only be necessary but a nice change of pace.