For my fourth essay I want to write about my college experience now that its almost over. I want to talk about the big events and experiences I had during that time, and how it changed me. Some of the big events I want to talk about are the marriage of my cousin who I was very close to and how it changed our relationship, I want to talk about some great friends I've met during that time period, and bad fights I had with people I used to be close with that I no longer am.
I also want to talk about some important sites during that time like the university center where I spent so much time with my friends, the office in my house I spend so much time working on school projects, the car that gave me freedom to go anywhere I wanted that I never had the opportunity to do so before, and the basketball court in the park in my hometown where I kept in touch with my old friends from high school.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Blog 18
The most important place to me are my backyard, my old high school, and my own room. My favorite place of those is very clear though, its the only place I have any privacy and the only place where I have free reign to do what I want.
It was the smallest of all the bed rooms in my house, it didn't have a carpet like the other rooms, and the heating wasn't great. But since it was mine, I loved it. There was two pieces of furniture in the room but it still filled the room up and left it with little space except for the small pathway from the door. I made do with the little space I had by adding a TV, putting posters and pictures on the wall. I made it unique and did what I wanted, my parents and adults completely left me alone and let the space be completely mine. The room also only had one window but with a perfect view of the woods in the park. It was a little frightening as a child because at night the woods would look so spooky and weird noise would come from their, but during the day it was beautiful.
It was like two different worlds, one inside that room and another outside those walls.
It was the smallest of all the bed rooms in my house, it didn't have a carpet like the other rooms, and the heating wasn't great. But since it was mine, I loved it. There was two pieces of furniture in the room but it still filled the room up and left it with little space except for the small pathway from the door. I made do with the little space I had by adding a TV, putting posters and pictures on the wall. I made it unique and did what I wanted, my parents and adults completely left me alone and let the space be completely mine. The room also only had one window but with a perfect view of the woods in the park. It was a little frightening as a child because at night the woods would look so spooky and weird noise would come from their, but during the day it was beautiful.
It was like two different worlds, one inside that room and another outside those walls.
Monday, November 9, 2009
blog 17
It was the only time I have ever left America to go to a foreign country. It was a important trip that my parents still talk about to this day because it wasn't just the only time I ever been to their homeland but it was the last time they themselves have been in their homeland. Before the trip the only thing I knew about the country was that it was small and surrounded by several bigger and more powerful countries. Still it did have its own language and culture that differentiate it from the others around it. But from what little I remember from that trip twenty years ago is clouded. But to this day they still occasionally ask me if I remember certain aspects of the trip. I know its important to them that I remember something about where they are from because there is no guarantee that I will ever go back, but my memories from that far back are pretty hazy. Even the things I do think that I remember I end up questioning whether they really happened or not because of years of having my mind worped by TV, Films, Ads, and other media.
When I close my eyes and think about that trip 20 years ago the first thing I remember was the farm I visited. That day was a warm summer scorcher that had everyone wanting to stay inside with the air conditioner. If you looked outside the grass was dry and yellow from the mini drought that was happening at that time. There wasn't a cloud in the sky which is normally a nice thing but it made everyone vulnerable to the suns intense and bright rays that day. The land was full of rolling hills with grass a foot high, with little smatterings of trees spread out along the land and providing shadows to escape the hot sun. The barn was dilapidated and clearly hadn't been tended to in years. Blue paint was chipping off all around the barn, the big heavy wooden door was worped from all the rain and unable to close it. There was no floor inside, just hard dirt that would kicked up dust every time you took a step. A low hanging lamp that would dimly light the old rickety farm equipment that was covered in spider webs. In my eyes the place was a dump, but through the eyes of my parents they remember it fondly because that's how they grew up. I didn't understand it because my parents would always talk about how difficult they had it as children working on the farm, working from down to dusk, working their calicoesed hands to the point that they would bleed and shaking. But at the same time while it was a lot of work it was something their family had done to years, it was something that the family did together, and it was something that they did love. While their current job is so much more stressful and isolates them from the closeness of their family.
The other thing I remember about the trip was going with my family to see my mothers aunt a few towns over. I remember it because their was a huge winding road on a mountain that we had to ride through to get to their house. In fact it was so scary that it was the first thing I could remember having nightmares about. The road on that mountain was full of pot holes, no barriers on the edge of the road to protect a car from sliding off the road down the mountain, and hundreds of large loose rocks on top of the mountain that looked like they were ready to tumble down to the road with the slightest wind. I couldn't rest or relax until we finally got off that mountain and on to level and flat land. After what seemed forever it finally did happen and we pulled up to my mothers aunts house which was much more modest than American home but still looked nice compared to the farm house we were at. It was made of brick, with red singles on the roof of the one story home. Inside everyone was wearing the national colors of red and green while watching the national soccer team in the Euro cup or world cup, I wasn't sure but it was a huge soccer match that had everyone in the city wearing the national colors. That day itself was forgettable, the only thing I remember about it was spending the entire time in my mothers lap sleeping or shielding my face in her shoulder so I didn't have to deal with these strange people that I didn't know.
The last thing from the trip I actually forgot but was reminded by a photo my mom saved in a box from that trip. As soon as I saw that photo it all came back to me. It was from a a festival that I don't even know the name of, but I knew it was a catholic festival because of the religious statues and beeds they were handing out. The country is heavily catholic and you see it everywhere in the countries. That day was It was the only time I saw my mothers brother face to face who didn't come to America like all his other siblings and parents, but instead stayed closer to home and settled a 200 miles north east in Paris. That day my uncle gave my brother and I an old necklace thats been in the family for a very long time that my brother and I still have.
When I close my eyes and think about that trip 20 years ago the first thing I remember was the farm I visited. That day was a warm summer scorcher that had everyone wanting to stay inside with the air conditioner. If you looked outside the grass was dry and yellow from the mini drought that was happening at that time. There wasn't a cloud in the sky which is normally a nice thing but it made everyone vulnerable to the suns intense and bright rays that day. The land was full of rolling hills with grass a foot high, with little smatterings of trees spread out along the land and providing shadows to escape the hot sun. The barn was dilapidated and clearly hadn't been tended to in years. Blue paint was chipping off all around the barn, the big heavy wooden door was worped from all the rain and unable to close it. There was no floor inside, just hard dirt that would kicked up dust every time you took a step. A low hanging lamp that would dimly light the old rickety farm equipment that was covered in spider webs. In my eyes the place was a dump, but through the eyes of my parents they remember it fondly because that's how they grew up. I didn't understand it because my parents would always talk about how difficult they had it as children working on the farm, working from down to dusk, working their calicoesed hands to the point that they would bleed and shaking. But at the same time while it was a lot of work it was something their family had done to years, it was something that the family did together, and it was something that they did love. While their current job is so much more stressful and isolates them from the closeness of their family.
The other thing I remember about the trip was going with my family to see my mothers aunt a few towns over. I remember it because their was a huge winding road on a mountain that we had to ride through to get to their house. In fact it was so scary that it was the first thing I could remember having nightmares about. The road on that mountain was full of pot holes, no barriers on the edge of the road to protect a car from sliding off the road down the mountain, and hundreds of large loose rocks on top of the mountain that looked like they were ready to tumble down to the road with the slightest wind. I couldn't rest or relax until we finally got off that mountain and on to level and flat land. After what seemed forever it finally did happen and we pulled up to my mothers aunts house which was much more modest than American home but still looked nice compared to the farm house we were at. It was made of brick, with red singles on the roof of the one story home. Inside everyone was wearing the national colors of red and green while watching the national soccer team in the Euro cup or world cup, I wasn't sure but it was a huge soccer match that had everyone in the city wearing the national colors. That day itself was forgettable, the only thing I remember about it was spending the entire time in my mothers lap sleeping or shielding my face in her shoulder so I didn't have to deal with these strange people that I didn't know.
The last thing from the trip I actually forgot but was reminded by a photo my mom saved in a box from that trip. As soon as I saw that photo it all came back to me. It was from a a festival that I don't even know the name of, but I knew it was a catholic festival because of the religious statues and beeds they were handing out. The country is heavily catholic and you see it everywhere in the countries. That day was It was the only time I saw my mothers brother face to face who didn't come to America like all his other siblings and parents, but instead stayed closer to home and settled a 200 miles north east in Paris. That day my uncle gave my brother and I an old necklace thats been in the family for a very long time that my brother and I still have.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Essay 1 Daft 2
Joe Fernandes
ENG 3017*01
Dr. Chandler
Draft 2 Essay # 1
October 5, 2009
Growing up I always remembered having a ton of friends, not my own but my brothers. I would always follow my older brother around whether he liked it or not, and along with that came his friends as well. At first I was seen as a young pest that they begrudgingly accepted because of who's brother I was, but soon after we genuinely became friends. There was 9 of us total, and I was the youngest of all by at least two years. The group consisted of a kid named Joe who my brother had met in elementary school, as well as his younger brother Angelo. Through Joe and Angelo my brother and I became friends with a three kids that lived near the two brothers. Joe and Angelo also became friends with two kids that lived near me and my brother that we were friends with, including my cousin.
The group of nine was than complete when I was in fourth grade, everyone in the group had their own role. My brother and Joe were the older ones and thus the leaders that everyone would follow. Angelo was Joe's little brother and a chubby kid who was addicted to video games. Sam was the kid who lived near Joe and Angelo, he was the kid with overprotective parents who wouldn't let him play anywhere outside his block. Rick also lived near Joe and Angelo, he was the kid we let into the group because he had a pool. Vince lived across the street from Joe and Angelo, he was the kid we allowed in the group because his connections and ability in getting us fireworks and free passes to amusement parks. Mike was my brother and I's cousin that was allowed in the group because of that. Finally their was Tyler who lived by my brother and me and joined the group cause much like me he would follow the group around till they accepted him.
Since I was the youngest of the group I was never in the same classes as my other friends, rarely saw them at school, and didn't have the same mutual experiences and memories from school because of that. Even so I never felt left out because we all spent so much time together after school, talking on the phone, playing sports, and especially in the summer. We had so many great times that it didn't matter to me that others had some great times with out me. And other than not being around them in school because I was a few years younger, age never really played a part in the friendship ever. I did everything they did.
Some people like my parents always found it odd that all my friends were much older than myself, but I always enjoyed the fact that my friends were older, it made me different from the other kids my age. It made me feel more advanced than the kids my age who were really pretty boring compared to my older friends. It wasn't that I didn't get along with the kids my age or in my class, I just wasn't interested in a lot of what the kids my ages were in to. They were into power rangers while I was more interested in sports and physical activities. What kids my age were interested in actually bored me. I think it had to do with the fact that as early as I can remember I was greatly influenced by my brother who is four years older so I was always interested in things that the older crowd enjoyed. I also never saw my classmates outside of class like I did with my other friends, my brothers friends were over our house all the time, and we went over every ones house constantly as well.
Growing was a great experience, I had a large group of friends that always kept me active. We played baseball, football, Basketball, went camping, fishing, built forts, and anything else you can imagine. But with a large group of friends like I had you have to expect that things won't always be the same, there's bound to be some friends that move away or friends you just grow apart from, that's part of growing up. We were such great friends, and so close that I thought we would all be life long friends. But within a few years that large group of friends that I had grown up with dwindled all they way down to just Three. My cousin, myself and my brother.
Within five years from fourth grade to my freshman year in high school six good friends that I had since I was four were gone forever. Rick got in trouble and was sent off to military school, never to be heard from again. Tyler was kicked out of his house and never heard from again as well, he had began hanging with a wrong crowd and got kicked out by his parents. The two brothers Joe and Angelo moved away to a town in North Jersey 2 hours away. And the other friends my brother and I grew up with still lived in town, except we grew a part from them because we were only friends with them through the two brothers that had moved away. So The only ones left in town that I was friends with was my brother and cousin, which is great but all your friends can't just be family. Thats not normal.
My brother and I tried to stay friends with the two brothers that moved away for several years but the distance became to much. Its to much work at a young age for a kid with out car and living his own life to try and keep a friendship with friends who live so far away and live their own lives with new friends. Through the years we erratically got together and had a lot of fun, we played sports, went dirt biking, going to movies, and everything else we did when we were younger. It felt just like it did when we were kids, but that feeling three or four times a year wasn't enough to keep the friendship in tact. We tried to make to keep in contact but the communication between two sides decreased year after year till there was no contact at all.
I was always relieved that I had an older brother because I always knew that no matter what he was always going to be my best friend, my most trusted friend, and a friend who's bond will never be broken. Still I missed the entire group, in the case of friends more is definitely better. The great thing about friends is that you can always make more, but you can never replace friends that you have had since child hood. Child hood friends in a lot of cases spend more time with you than your own family members, they know your history and secrets, and in a way help shape the person you will become because they have an influence on you at a small and impressionable age.
Since than my brother has made new friends, and I have made new friends. I'm not sure how my brother feels about his friends but while I like my new friends I'm not sure I can call them anything other than acquaintances. Sure we have a good time when we are around but would I be able to count on him if ever needed? Could I ever trust him with information I need to be kept secret? Does he even really know me all that well? I'm not sure you can call some one your friend unless you are completely comfortable around them and I certainly am not. I find myself holding back my opinions on certain subjects so as not to offend or hurt my new friends. I find my self struggling to make conversation which I never had to do with my old friends because we had so much in common that we could go on for hours. But than again maybe my lack of close friends is my fault, my brother has made quite a few close friends since we grown apart from our old friends and I'm sure my old friends have moved on as well. Why I'm I still clinging to old friends that I haven't seen in several years when others have easily moved on. I was the youngest of the group and I'm sure it has a lot to do with it, I never had to make friends because I always remembered having them. Its possible that I'm just not that out going, I'm more reserved and quite with people I'm not familiar with. I've always hated change as it never really worked out for me, but I really think its time to embrace it. I 'm not happy with my current situation so why would I want to stay the same? Obviously change would not only be necessary but a nice change of pace.
ENG 3017*01
Dr. Chandler
Draft 2 Essay # 1
October 5, 2009
Growing up I always remembered having a ton of friends, not my own but my brothers. I would always follow my older brother around whether he liked it or not, and along with that came his friends as well. At first I was seen as a young pest that they begrudgingly accepted because of who's brother I was, but soon after we genuinely became friends. There was 9 of us total, and I was the youngest of all by at least two years. The group consisted of a kid named Joe who my brother had met in elementary school, as well as his younger brother Angelo. Through Joe and Angelo my brother and I became friends with a three kids that lived near the two brothers. Joe and Angelo also became friends with two kids that lived near me and my brother that we were friends with, including my cousin.
The group of nine was than complete when I was in fourth grade, everyone in the group had their own role. My brother and Joe were the older ones and thus the leaders that everyone would follow. Angelo was Joe's little brother and a chubby kid who was addicted to video games. Sam was the kid who lived near Joe and Angelo, he was the kid with overprotective parents who wouldn't let him play anywhere outside his block. Rick also lived near Joe and Angelo, he was the kid we let into the group because he had a pool. Vince lived across the street from Joe and Angelo, he was the kid we allowed in the group because his connections and ability in getting us fireworks and free passes to amusement parks. Mike was my brother and I's cousin that was allowed in the group because of that. Finally their was Tyler who lived by my brother and me and joined the group cause much like me he would follow the group around till they accepted him.
Since I was the youngest of the group I was never in the same classes as my other friends, rarely saw them at school, and didn't have the same mutual experiences and memories from school because of that. Even so I never felt left out because we all spent so much time together after school, talking on the phone, playing sports, and especially in the summer. We had so many great times that it didn't matter to me that others had some great times with out me. And other than not being around them in school because I was a few years younger, age never really played a part in the friendship ever. I did everything they did.
Some people like my parents always found it odd that all my friends were much older than myself, but I always enjoyed the fact that my friends were older, it made me different from the other kids my age. It made me feel more advanced than the kids my age who were really pretty boring compared to my older friends. It wasn't that I didn't get along with the kids my age or in my class, I just wasn't interested in a lot of what the kids my ages were in to. They were into power rangers while I was more interested in sports and physical activities. What kids my age were interested in actually bored me. I think it had to do with the fact that as early as I can remember I was greatly influenced by my brother who is four years older so I was always interested in things that the older crowd enjoyed. I also never saw my classmates outside of class like I did with my other friends, my brothers friends were over our house all the time, and we went over every ones house constantly as well.
Growing was a great experience, I had a large group of friends that always kept me active. We played baseball, football, Basketball, went camping, fishing, built forts, and anything else you can imagine. But with a large group of friends like I had you have to expect that things won't always be the same, there's bound to be some friends that move away or friends you just grow apart from, that's part of growing up. We were such great friends, and so close that I thought we would all be life long friends. But within a few years that large group of friends that I had grown up with dwindled all they way down to just Three. My cousin, myself and my brother.
Within five years from fourth grade to my freshman year in high school six good friends that I had since I was four were gone forever. Rick got in trouble and was sent off to military school, never to be heard from again. Tyler was kicked out of his house and never heard from again as well, he had began hanging with a wrong crowd and got kicked out by his parents. The two brothers Joe and Angelo moved away to a town in North Jersey 2 hours away. And the other friends my brother and I grew up with still lived in town, except we grew a part from them because we were only friends with them through the two brothers that had moved away. So The only ones left in town that I was friends with was my brother and cousin, which is great but all your friends can't just be family. Thats not normal.
My brother and I tried to stay friends with the two brothers that moved away for several years but the distance became to much. Its to much work at a young age for a kid with out car and living his own life to try and keep a friendship with friends who live so far away and live their own lives with new friends. Through the years we erratically got together and had a lot of fun, we played sports, went dirt biking, going to movies, and everything else we did when we were younger. It felt just like it did when we were kids, but that feeling three or four times a year wasn't enough to keep the friendship in tact. We tried to make to keep in contact but the communication between two sides decreased year after year till there was no contact at all.
I was always relieved that I had an older brother because I always knew that no matter what he was always going to be my best friend, my most trusted friend, and a friend who's bond will never be broken. Still I missed the entire group, in the case of friends more is definitely better. The great thing about friends is that you can always make more, but you can never replace friends that you have had since child hood. Child hood friends in a lot of cases spend more time with you than your own family members, they know your history and secrets, and in a way help shape the person you will become because they have an influence on you at a small and impressionable age.
Since than my brother has made new friends, and I have made new friends. I'm not sure how my brother feels about his friends but while I like my new friends I'm not sure I can call them anything other than acquaintances. Sure we have a good time when we are around but would I be able to count on him if ever needed? Could I ever trust him with information I need to be kept secret? Does he even really know me all that well? I'm not sure you can call some one your friend unless you are completely comfortable around them and I certainly am not. I find myself holding back my opinions on certain subjects so as not to offend or hurt my new friends. I find my self struggling to make conversation which I never had to do with my old friends because we had so much in common that we could go on for hours. But than again maybe my lack of close friends is my fault, my brother has made quite a few close friends since we grown apart from our old friends and I'm sure my old friends have moved on as well. Why I'm I still clinging to old friends that I haven't seen in several years when others have easily moved on. I was the youngest of the group and I'm sure it has a lot to do with it, I never had to make friends because I always remembered having them. Its possible that I'm just not that out going, I'm more reserved and quite with people I'm not familiar with. I've always hated change as it never really worked out for me, but I really think its time to embrace it. I 'm not happy with my current situation so why would I want to stay the same? Obviously change would not only be necessary but a nice change of pace.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Blog 14
I have a black and white close up photo of myself that I had to take for my art class. In this photo my head is slightly tilted and shadow is covering half of my face. I like this photo because I like black and white photos and movies, it makes everything seem older.
Blog 13
In one of the boxes my mom has stored in the attic was a box full of my old toys that she stored up there when I started going to middle school and stopped playing with my toys. My favorite toy was hungry hungry hippos that my friends and I would spend hours playing. Most of the marbles from the game had gone missing because most of the times the game games would finish and every body would grab a handful of marbles and have a marble fight.
One time in particular I remember it started a fist fight between brothers. What happened was that a group of my friends and I were planning on going to the batting cages except these two brothers only had enough money for one to go. So after fighting about it for awhile the decided to play hungry hungry hippos for it. One game winner takes all.
During the game the two were evened up, but as the game was winding down the younger brothers hippo got stuck and the older brother didn't stop and in fact won the game. The younger brother protested but everyone agreed those were the breaks and his brother won. The younger brother refused to give up his half of the money and that started a fight between the two. The older brother beat the younger brother up pretty good, than took his money and went to the batting cages with us. Although when the older brother got home he got grounded for an entire week.
One time in particular I remember it started a fist fight between brothers. What happened was that a group of my friends and I were planning on going to the batting cages except these two brothers only had enough money for one to go. So after fighting about it for awhile the decided to play hungry hungry hippos for it. One game winner takes all.
During the game the two were evened up, but as the game was winding down the younger brothers hippo got stuck and the older brother didn't stop and in fact won the game. The younger brother protested but everyone agreed those were the breaks and his brother won. The younger brother refused to give up his half of the money and that started a fight between the two. The older brother beat the younger brother up pretty good, than took his money and went to the batting cages with us. Although when the older brother got home he got grounded for an entire week.
Blog 12
I plan on revising my first essay on losing all my child hood friends as I got older. I think that my first essay was just more relate able to people, while my second essay wasn't as relate able or understandable because somethings that were integral to the story I could not write about because it was private family matters. I liked my first essay more because it seems all my previous writings in class have been about friends and early childhood, its a big topic for me for what ever reason and much easier to write about because of that.
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